sad

gOt the news, a very gOOd friend Of dear* expired in an accident...
(hOw i actually gOt tO knOw was alittle weird)

anyway m sO sad
a very nice, sweet & bubbly yOung chap
sO sad...
my GOD.


think anOther thing tat cant handle well besides "seperatiOn" is death.
werid?
wen my pts expired its entirely a dif thing
cOs they usually suffered alOt priOr
& tat @ times thOugh its cruel, its Only fOr the better...
alsO its Only part & parcel Of my ICU jOb & we did Our best.

but fOr a friend Or sOmeOne tat i knOw its a different thing.
think its the 1st time since dear* left tat mi feel tOtally lOst.
*shOck**
*lOst**
*sad**
*wOrried**

jus cant handle it...
unsure Of hOw & wat tO react
jus suddenly gOes intO trance
as if m flOating...


prOb its cOs Of my brOther
similar cause- RTA

except tat
my brOther had RTA
3rd degree burn
On 90% Of his bOdy
eventually expired due tO infectiOn
*painful**

jus cant handle it.


nOw extremly wOrried
unable tO get dear*
Outfield
unsure if he received my smses
wOrried Of hOw he'll take it.
GOD.

as much as i wish tO gO dwn again
jus cant bear...
esp wen i see his gf
wen i see his phOtO
jus cant handle it.

sOrry dear*
did wat i can.

*prays**
may he rest in peace.